Title: Car X Talk 
Author: Tesla 
Keyword: Crossover 
Rating: G 
Summary: Crossover, vignette 
Archive: Okay. 

With apologies to Fox, 1013, NPR, and Tom and Ray Moliazzi 



"It's time for a feature we call Stump the Chumps," said the radio 
host. 

"That's where we revisit a prior listener and see if our advice 
worked," said his co-host. 

"Today, we have Fox, from Arlington, Virginia. He called us 
several years ago about a massive electrical problem in his 
Ford Taurus. Let's play the tape." 

"We were on a two-lane highway at night---" said the listener, 
obviously in mid-explanation. 

"We?" 

"My partner and I." 

"Is this a fancy way of saying girlfriend?" 

The listener laughed. "No, we're federal agents. We were 
on an investigation." 

"Wait a minute! You're not with the IRS?" cried one host. 
"In that case, you've called the wrong show! This is the 
jazz hour!" All three men laughed. 

"Now, as it turns out, Fox is an FBI agent, and has nothing 
to do with the IRS, so we answered his question. Are you 
there, Fox?" 

"Yes, I am." 

"And for the record, we haven't talked to you since you called, 
and as far as you know, the government isn't interested in us 
at all, is it?" 

"Well, unless you can make a connection between your show 
and the cuts in funding to public radio," the listener replied. 

"Hey! That's probably right!" 

"Anyway, the Taurus had a massive electrical failure, and there 
was no sign of any trouble, but the car was flooded with light?" 

"That's right. The car stopped, and both of us were literally 
blinded for a few seconds." 

"Then the car started up again, with no sign of anything wrong, 
but when you got back to town, your watch, and your partner's 
watch were both nine minutes slow." 

"Fox, were you investigating UFO's?" The hosts laughed. 

"How'd you guess?" More laughter. 

"Anyway, we speculated that the computer chip had malfunctioned, 
and caused all the lights, including the interior light, and the dashboard 
lights, to flare up. Since Fox was driving down a road in the country, 
the flash was more noticeable," said Tommy. 

"Tommy at first wondered if there had been a random lightning 
strike, but the lights and radio wouldn't have come back on," Ray said. 

"So, Fox, what was it?" 

"It wasn't the computer chip." The program played the mocking 
"wahwahwah" sound of a horn. "Actually, they couldn't figure it out, 
and they couldn't figure out at all about the watches. The closest the 
dealer came up with was, a magnetic storm." 

"So we were partially right---some kind of electrical disturbance." 

"Nah, nah, we were right when we said a UFO! Fox, have you had the 
problem since?" 

"No, but I left that one with the dealer. It was leased, anyway." 

"Well, thanks for playing stump the chump with us!" 


D. 
"Reading is a pernicious habit."---Thomas Hobbes